Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
