There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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