Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Even my vagina gasped.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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