I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
