He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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