Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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