you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
