Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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