This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Randomize
