Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
