i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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