Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
