if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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