This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize