Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
