Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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