I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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