I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
