The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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