marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
