she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
we're so committed to being not committed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
