Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
