I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
