would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
and you fell through a lawn chair
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize