epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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