And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize