I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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