yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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