I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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