its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
