just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
