drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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