You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
