last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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