ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
thus making me awesome and them whores
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize