It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize