Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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