highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
