The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize