i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
What drink are we having for lunch?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize