He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
