he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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