One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
