I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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