ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
