I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
a search helicopter?!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
