I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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