You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
