I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
love makes seman taste better
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
