When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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