Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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