last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
