Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
