Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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