Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
