I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize