Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
