shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I am naked and annoyed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize