I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
