what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
