its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
