remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
