Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Yo dont text me then not text me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
