How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
this hospital has no fireball
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize