The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
