last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
