I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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